So today I'm pretty sure my brain is still in my bed sleeping. I don't know why, it must be really lazy but because of this I have: Forgotten my id and keys in my locked room(which has been remedied by my amazing roommate), completely forgot to do a bonus activity for my human growth test today (which was fix with about 10 minutes of frantic typing and a gracious teacher), and all the while have not really been able to comprehend what's going on. This means random laughing and not really understanding the direness of all this.. Anyways just so you know, today my head is empty and my brain is sleeping. Now off to do homework that's due at 5.
Thanks for reading my pointless post of the day!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Living, Never, Shielded, Ready
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil, or fade- kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 1 Peter 1:3-5
So as much as I want to write about what I see here, there is nothing I can write that better says what these verses state. I'm letting the words speak for themselves, for I know the power that resides in them. I hope you find this a comfort in your day. And also if you have any questions feel free to ask!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
"Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care? Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?"
The new year bring lots of opportunity. It brings the ability to start something new; to make a decision that this year brings something more than the last. So, this year, I have made a few petty new years resolutions, no soda, run a half marathon.. but there's one that I hope will be life changing.
Over the past few days I've realized how caught up in myself I have been the past few weeks even the past semester. Where I've learned a lot about who I am and what God has caught me to do, I've noticed that I became the center of my attention. I was worried about myself and about if I was okay. If I had the adequate amount of friends to be cool, or if I was happy. And then how could I fix it for my better if it was askew. Now I don't think the semester was horrible I enjoyed it and did learn a lot, but in doing all this stuff above. I lost myself. I've been thinking about my identity: who I am, who I am called to be, and what makes this up? I felt like when I was home, my identity was found in how involved I was at church, or the great Christian school I went to, or the great people I surrounded myself with. When all this was gone at college and people and professors didn't know what I would think about issues or where I stood on the subject, I found myself wondering the same thing. I wasn't sure of who I was. I started looking for myself in other places. Where I didn't completely change and I'm very much the same me, I did seem to loose a passion of mine. Caring for people.
The title above is from the movie Rent. It is a musical about people barely making it by in life, gayness, and aids. Where these are touchy subjects, I love the realness the movie brings to them. In this song, I found the cry of the world: "Will someone care?" That is what people are looking for. Someone to care. And that is where my new years resolution comes up. I resolve to care more. To listen more intently. To show Christ's love. To be focused on others. To truly care. That is what humanity craves. That is what my Savior showed me and that is what I have been called emulate through Christ's death. This in my identity which does not change with people or times. It stays the same rooted in my Creator who is everlasting and unchanging.
Lord, I ask that you guide me in this desire to care for people how you care for them, to see people how you see them, and to love how you loved. Without you my efforts are in vain, and in my weakness your strength is shown.
Over the past few days I've realized how caught up in myself I have been the past few weeks even the past semester. Where I've learned a lot about who I am and what God has caught me to do, I've noticed that I became the center of my attention. I was worried about myself and about if I was okay. If I had the adequate amount of friends to be cool, or if I was happy. And then how could I fix it for my better if it was askew. Now I don't think the semester was horrible I enjoyed it and did learn a lot, but in doing all this stuff above. I lost myself. I've been thinking about my identity: who I am, who I am called to be, and what makes this up? I felt like when I was home, my identity was found in how involved I was at church, or the great Christian school I went to, or the great people I surrounded myself with. When all this was gone at college and people and professors didn't know what I would think about issues or where I stood on the subject, I found myself wondering the same thing. I wasn't sure of who I was. I started looking for myself in other places. Where I didn't completely change and I'm very much the same me, I did seem to loose a passion of mine. Caring for people.
The title above is from the movie Rent. It is a musical about people barely making it by in life, gayness, and aids. Where these are touchy subjects, I love the realness the movie brings to them. In this song, I found the cry of the world: "Will someone care?" That is what people are looking for. Someone to care. And that is where my new years resolution comes up. I resolve to care more. To listen more intently. To show Christ's love. To be focused on others. To truly care. That is what humanity craves. That is what my Savior showed me and that is what I have been called emulate through Christ's death. This in my identity which does not change with people or times. It stays the same rooted in my Creator who is everlasting and unchanging.
Lord, I ask that you guide me in this desire to care for people how you care for them, to see people how you see them, and to love how you loved. Without you my efforts are in vain, and in my weakness your strength is shown.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
If I can just make it to the boat I'll be perfectly fine.
Have you every thought of your safe place? A place you can go where everything is fine, life is good, and the worries of the world don't matter. The world has melted away and all that's left is you and the place you are or the thing you're doing. I know that so many times I would be struggling through the day and my thoughts were, "Just make it practice. Just get in the boat and row the worries away." Now I'm not saying that it's where all the worries go away forever. For rowing, it just delayed them for a time. In the boat, it was me, my oar, the boat, and the water. Land contained the stresses and the water was my shelter. I guess my worries can't swim.
Rowing is not my only safe place. I actually have 4.
1. Rowing
2. My trampoline. This has been my longest and most used one. It's easily accessible especially if I've just gotten in a argument with family or something happens in my house. I've always been pretty good at trampoline stuff. It come pretty easily to me. So jumping for about 5 minutes filled with back layouts and tucks normally completely calms me down.
3. Ultimate. My new found safe place. When I have a frisbee or am running around trying to get open for one the world is okay.
4. Running. I dont do this one very often but after a run I am normally completely relaxed. I love running to clear my head and pray.
The funny thing about these things is they are all athletic things, and they are all things I'm relatively good at. At that my friends is the secret to my safe place. When I'm failing at life, and I can't seem to do anything right, I go do something I'm good at. It's a little place I have control over what happens. Without these things life would be very difficult and I am so thankful that God has allowed me to enjoy this stuff.
1. Rowing
2. My trampoline. This has been my longest and most used one. It's easily accessible especially if I've just gotten in a argument with family or something happens in my house. I've always been pretty good at trampoline stuff. It come pretty easily to me. So jumping for about 5 minutes filled with back layouts and tucks normally completely calms me down.
3. Ultimate. My new found safe place. When I have a frisbee or am running around trying to get open for one the world is okay.
4. Running. I dont do this one very often but after a run I am normally completely relaxed. I love running to clear my head and pray.
The funny thing about these things is they are all athletic things, and they are all things I'm relatively good at. At that my friends is the secret to my safe place. When I'm failing at life, and I can't seem to do anything right, I go do something I'm good at. It's a little place I have control over what happens. Without these things life would be very difficult and I am so thankful that God has allowed me to enjoy this stuff.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Intentions
Today as I was laying awake in my bed at 5:30 this morning, I thought came about intentions in life. Why I do the things I do? Lately, and frequently in the past I find that my intentions are not the right ones. Where the deeds are good and result in great outcome, how good are they if intentions come from selfish desires and faulty pressure? For example, many times I find myself wanting to deepen my relationship with God and wanting to converse with God more and do everything I can to please him. However, when I examine my intentions it's not to just get closer to God, which should be way more than enough, but its to get to a growing point that I think is good. I want to be a missionary when I get older and finish school and everything. So I find myself striving to get to the spiritual maturity I need to be that. But, I've found that many times when this is my sole intention, the growing is stifled and is quickly regressed. My intention of reaching a point of maturity needs to become the result and the intention replaced with a fervent striving to be more like the man who died on the cross for me.
So, I realize this and want to follow it, but so many times, the head knowledge and the feelings don't add up. Therefore, I don't try. I don't want to follow after something with the wrong intentions behind it; scared that my progress will be fake in a sense. And this is where I am now in my reasoning. I know it's not working and I need to stay hidden in God and let him hold me and guide me; for the sole purposes that he loves, died for me, and chose me to be his child. But, what do I do til those desires become real and evident in my life?
So, I realize this and want to follow it, but so many times, the head knowledge and the feelings don't add up. Therefore, I don't try. I don't want to follow after something with the wrong intentions behind it; scared that my progress will be fake in a sense. And this is where I am now in my reasoning. I know it's not working and I need to stay hidden in God and let him hold me and guide me; for the sole purposes that he loves, died for me, and chose me to be his child. But, what do I do til those desires become real and evident in my life?
Now Playing: She is Love - Parachute
Pandora Radio is a wonderful thing. And I have the best station in the world! It's taken from the song Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade with a little Jack Johnson and Jason Mraz, not to mention a little Relient K, Sara Haze, and other glorious artists. It's super chill and pretty mellow. Music of which I can listen anytime of the day!
I've found that you can find out a lot about a person by there music.. Rachel (my little sister) for example likes a little of everything EXCEPT country (eww). Which backs up her personality. She accepts people. Lots of different people. She doesn't fit in a bubble and for the most part doesn't put people in bubbles. She gives them a fair chance like she does with music!
So completely random post for the day done! Along with some admiration for my darling little sister ,# LOVE YOU!
Now for the post I was planning to write!
I've found that you can find out a lot about a person by there music.. Rachel (my little sister) for example likes a little of everything EXCEPT country (eww). Which backs up her personality. She accepts people. Lots of different people. She doesn't fit in a bubble and for the most part doesn't put people in bubbles. She gives them a fair chance like she does with music!
So completely random post for the day done! Along with some admiration for my darling little sister ,# LOVE YOU!
Now for the post I was planning to write!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Bucket List
A list of things I want to do before I die
1. Spend New Years in another country
2. Ride in a hot air balloon
3. Read the Bible in another language
4. Get married
5. Run a marathon
6. Go (and by go I mean watch) to the Olympics
7. Get a layout point
8. Learn to play the guitar (We'll see if that one ever happens..)
9.
So this is going to be a continuous list as I think of what stuff I want to do. You'll see more later!
1. Spend New Years in another country
2. Ride in a hot air balloon
3. Read the Bible in another language
4. Get married
5. Run a marathon
6. Go (and by go I mean watch) to the Olympics
7. Get a layout point
8. Learn to play the guitar (We'll see if that one ever happens..)
9.
So this is going to be a continuous list as I think of what stuff I want to do. You'll see more later!
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